The best part, however, and the reason I'm not still an agnostic, is that now I know there is no human element in my relationship to God. My flesh can cause me trouble, but it can't change who I am or, more importantly, how my Dad feels about me. He made sure of that when He put Abraham to sleep all those years ago. He has removed the possibility for failure by removing the human element.
Now I know that Christianity is not some behavioral ultimatum, but a relationship of total commitment on God's part, and total surrender on my part. Now I believe in a different version of Christianity:
God-focus instead of self-focus
Loving Him instead of trying to please Him
Thankfulness instead of devotion
Internal God thinking instead of external God thinking
Christ in me instead of Christ-likeness
Walking in the Spirit instead of struggling to conform flesh to His image
Renewing the mind instead of trying to grow spiritually
and best of all...
Knowing Him and Walking with Him instead of living for Him
I was raised a Christian, and I was good at it, or so I thought. I was the kid who witnessed to his friends, didn't do a, b, c, or d, and went to church all the time.Everyone thought I was on the path of life, and so did I, but somehow in my twenties, it just quit working, so I quit.
Don't misunderstand--I didn't quit singing Christian music or being a leader in the church or any of that stuff--I just quit believing. That was a tough way to live, but I just didn't know how to leave everything so quickly, so I stayed in the groove I'd cut for myself and just faked it a lot.
Why did Christianity quit working for me? Because I was doing it wrong? No, but because the Christianity I was practicing wasn't the real thing. I don't mean I was not "saved" or "born again" or "converted" or however you want to put it. I know now that my spiritual relationship with God began when I was six years old and accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. I also know that this relationship stayed intact throughout the whole period of my agnosticism. I didn't believe in Him, but He lived inside me still. After all, He said He'd never leave or forsake me...and He didn't.
I, however, stopped believing in Him, but only because I didn't know Him. I worshiped the "right God," but I understood Him to be much different than He truly is, and therefore my version of Christianity was just not correct.
My version of Christianity was based on the idea that Jesus had come and fulfilled the Mosaic Law on my behalf. That is correct, but it's not the main thing. The covenant of Jesus is not based on the Law of Moses, but on the earlier, Abrahamic covenant, and with good reason. The New Testament teaches that the Law of Moses was set aside because it was weak and ineffective. Why? Because it depended on human effort.
The Law of Moses was a behaviorally based agreement. God said, "I'm giving you guys a choice here...live right, I'll bless you...but live wrong, and watch out!" That kind of an ultimatum can be motivating to an extent, but ultimately, it leads to frustration, and that's exactly what it was designed to do. The Law was meant to be a temporary instructor, a tutor to get us ready for the real thing, faith in Jesus. However, for most of us, we've mixed our faith in Jesus with a mentality that the divine ultimatum of blessing and curse is still hanging over our heads.
We must unlearn this. The Law, as an agreement between God and the Jewish people, was intrinsically flawed, since half of it, and therefore all of it, depended on human behavior, and any agreement is only as good as its weakest party. The Abrahamic covenant, however, was not made between God and man, but between God and Himself. Look it up--when the covenant was made, Abram was asleep, and passing ceremonially between the pieces of the animals was a dual manifestation of God, smoke and fire.
Why did God do that? By removing Abram, and by extension, you and I, from the equation, God took responsibility for the human side of the covenant as well as the divine. Therefore, when in chapter 17, He told Abraham to be perfect in his life, God knew He would take responsibility for that also.
Did Abraham live perfectly before God? Not by a long shot, but Jesus did, and by shedding His innocent blood, ratified the Abrahamic covenant on behalf of Abraham and all his children (those who believe). By fulfilling this covenant for us, Jesus not only purchased eternal life for us, but also made us partakers in all the blessings of Abraham.
What are these "blessings of Abraham?" What was it about the Abrahamic covenant that made it so much better than the Mosaic ultimatum? The type of covenant God initiated with Abraham is very, very simple. It was a complete and irrevocable joining of two people. As parties walked through the blood of animals cut in half, they stated publicly, "everything I have is yours, and everything you have is mine--forever, and if I break this covenant, I forfeit my right to live."
That's what God says to us in Jesus...and we definitely get the better end of that deal. God gives us more than just forgiveness and heaven, He literally bestows on us everything He has and is in exchange for our spiritual destitution. Think about it. That's why this is called good news.
The best part, however, and the reason I'm not still an agnostic, is that now I know there is no human element in my relationship to God. My flesh can cause me trouble, but it can't change who I am or, more importantly, how my Dad feels about me. He made sure of that when He put Abraham to sleep all those years ago. He has removed the possibility for failure by removing the human element.
Now I know that Christianity is not some behavioral ultimatum, but a relationship of total commitment on God's part, and total surrender on my part. Now I believe in a different version of Christianity:
God-focus instead of self-focus
Loving Him instead of trying to please Him
Thankfulness instead of devotion
Internal God thinking instead of external God thinking
Christ in me instead of Christ-likeness
Walking in the Spirit instead of struggling to conform flesh to His image
Renewing the mind instead of trying to grow spiritually
and best of all...
Knowing Him and Walking with Him instead of living for Him
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